International dating from Ukraine & Russian women’s point of view (Part 1)
Marry a foreigner is unearthly happiness or a fatal mistake?
Russian and Ukrainian women are beautiful, charming and mysterious. And … they are scammers, gold-diggers and professional pro-daters. There are so many rumors and gossips about us. Some of them are really crazy.
Well, guys, would you like to know what Ukrainian and Russian women think about you, Western men, and how they view dating and marriage with you? Who are you for Russian girls: knights on white horses, sex tourists or men who are able to love and support his foreign wife and build with her a stable family?
I’ve found a thought-provoking discussion of Russian women on this matter online. In this discussion, you find so many different negative and positive opinions on international marriages. Olga Machovskaja, author of the book “The Temptation of Emigration” and senior researcher at the Institute of Psychology (Ipran), plays a key role in the discussion. Honestly, I do not agree with some of her answers, and I think her attitude to international marriages is more negative than positive.
I spent all last weekend on the translation of the epic (and my husband almost killed me for this :))! I worked very hard and translated more than 3000 words, so I decided to post the text in four parts. Accordingly, I am publishing the first part today. And two more things should be mentioned. I translated not every word, story or question, but the most interesting and remarkable (in my view) parts of the discussion. Second, I am not a professional translator. I did not translate word for word but described the main sence of the plot. So do not judge strictly, please.
Part 1: How do Russian and Ukrainian women view foreign men?
Every year, thousands of Russian (and Ukrainian) women are leaving the country looking for a “foreign prince.” How do these women live abroad? What men are waiting for them? And what risks lurk? How to choose the right partner among foreigners?
Eva: Olga, two years ago, you called an average Russian woman who marries abroad provincial chicken. Could you say how the type of Russian (and Ukrainian) “mail order brides” has changed during these two years?
Olga Machovskaja: More and more Russian girls wishing to marry a man abroad understand that they first need to get an education and a job; a successful marriage is a consequence of the initial adaptation to the new country. They do not tell their stories and do not cry about their problems. For that reason, we do not see these women and the Russian women’s emigration still has the reputation of the unhappy provincial.
In reality, our woman becomes more experienced and wiser every year. The new generation of girls looks with hope for country men. According to the surveys, they are looking for a man with higher education, soft housewifely personality, good job and willing to compromises. I am glad that these girls do not yearn for a strong hand, broad back, shoulder or other reliable parts of the body.
Eva: Honestly, I do not understand the expression of “foreign husband“. Foreigner does not mean alien. Men are the same everywhere and have the same anatomical structure, “male” logic and instincts, etc. Please explain the fundamental difference between countrymen and foreign men.
Olga M.: I have not met an alien-man. Therefore, I do not know anything about this type of men. But I can say that there are a lot of differences between Russian and foreign men. For example, Russian men do not like to talk in bed; however, Western men love to discuss and propose…
But today, Muslim men belong to the category of foreigners, too. Perhaps these men have more similarities with our men. They like to dominate in the family and to be the absolute authority. But they drink less than our men.
Women from the Primorsky Krai love Chinese men (note: Primorsky Krai, informally known as Primorye, is a federal subject of Russia. Primorsky means “maritime” in Russian. Its administrative center is in the city of Vladivostok. Source: Wikipedia).
Today Russian women have a great choice and demonstrate uncommon appetite. Wedding fashion changes from season to season and each Eve finds her Adam.
Cat: I advise everyone to marry foreigners, but only Europeans (Turkey is not Europe). First, they respect women much more than Russian men. Secondly, you have more likely a chance to realize yourself in Europe.
Olga M.: Surely, there is a Russian woman married to a Turk who will argue the opposite. And she may be right in her own. Many Turk men in Russia have their own business and want to build a family with a beautiful white-skinned Russian woman. As I know, many of these men prefer to stay in Russia. And this option is good for women because if the family stays in Russia, the woman is more protected.
Vacation romance is full of risks. Many women completely lose their heads when they go on budget vacation to Egypt and Turkey for the first time. I agree that the standard of living in Turkey and Egypt as well as the level of education for children are much lower than in Russia. You should remember this.
A female lawyer from Brussels: I want to give some free advice.
Do not take the decision to move to the West if you have not visited your foreign man at least for a month. You can get scammed in the International marriage industry!
The marriage contract is necessary. You have to specify the position of the children from the first marriage, the right to use the family bank account and, most importantly, the right to your future common child. This will help you avoid 90% of unpleasant surprises. Often, Russian mothers lose their children during divorce in Europe and women are forced to live in crisis centers.
Olga M.: Your advice is the confirmation of my position. Only few women who get into such a situation are able not only critically assess their situation, but also tell about these difficulties to their friends and warn against errors. These women deserve great respect. Current data on international marriages is not easy. But we all understand that international marriages have a future. Nowadays, they have a real perspective in terms of migration and open society.
In the second part, you will learn more about the culture and personality of Russian and Ukrainian women.