My ideas about dating a Ukrainian woman on CharmDate
I have been on charmdate.com for some time now (about 8 months, I think I spent around 300€) and mostly talked to a single woman mostly because I still can’t say for certain she is a fake.
I went into this knowing it was likely a scam, I mostly wanted to distract myself after a breakup. Now 8 months in, here are a few things I have learned.
#1. Chat messages are automatic
Chat messages that you get constantly are all automatic, even a girl you talk with regularly will at times spew out a copy paste usually sexual message. I have asked the woman I’m in contact about it, and she recognized it and said she had no idea that her agency used her profile like that.
Even after talking about it and showing it to her, it continued for some time. *** If you answer one of these automatic messages, your 5 minute per credit count starts right there and then!! If you start a conversation without any prior messages it only start counting when/if she answers ***
I have seen some women trying to abuse the system a lot in the chat, so be very careful! For example reply to your first message instantly with a quick hi (to start counter) and then take forever for all subsequent answers.
#2. No direct contact with Ukrainian brides
Women cannot contact you directly. They can’t send the first mail, and I suspect the admirer mail is also automatic. Same with chat, they can’t write you before you write them. If you read a mail (and pay) they are then allowed to send another.
#3. Using a free chat voucher
If you use a free chat voucher to chat with a Ukrainian woman, she will always send an emf mail right away. (You can’t use bonus points for first free mail duh).
#4. Refund possible
If you got any problems even a little contact their customer service and complain say you lost credits or something. They often refund for some extra credits …
I haven’t really tried the call and cam services at all due to prices, I did try my hands with a few of the vouchers for the cam, but never really worked out. SO no comments on those things.
As for my situation, I have talked to a Ukrainian woman there for 8 months or so and as far as I can tell she could be legit. But there are so many red flags and suspicions that I just don’t know! At this point we are mostly communicating over e-mail (outside the site) and in a private chatroom that we quickly setup. I rarely hear from her, and usually only in short sessions (less than 1 hour).
Some of the things that makes me think she is legit are:
- ask for photo with recent newspaper and my name written on it and her face clearly shown, which she sent very early on
- ask for collection of photos with different silly poses and in certain type of clothes (which she did!)
what she says is generally consistent.
- I checked the IP address on the mail and it is exactly where she claims to be from
- Despite still being a billion times more available on charmdate than outside charmdate, we still mostly communicate outside charmdate now.
- She was very co-operative when it came to getting her contact details, making sure she only had 1 (as it costs 10 credits per detail) and updating it. (she did give me mail instead of phone I asked for but oh well.)
- She was also generally cooperative with mails; I asked she only sent the 1 free photo and not bother with paid ones which she did. However she did send duplicate photos regularly.
- While I did find dozens of social media profiles her (all fake) many of the photos she sent me I couldn’t find anywhere else!
- She has mentioned the agency she uses for the dating site is very controlling and there are things she can’t say or do because of her contract with her. not at all sure on the details. But she said she regretted ever going on the dating sites because of this.
- She was aware of certain information I found on her from photos outside the site. Like having bungee jumped for example.
- Still haven’t found her on other dating sites.
Why I doubt her:
- I’ve never had real direct contact with her, (call, cam etc.). She keeps saying she will get a phone she can use to talk with me, but can’t with her current work phone.
- She’s available everyday on charmdate after 8pm till midnight, almost consistently, almost always answers in minutes.
- She’s very hard to get a hold off outside of charmdate, she mails once a week to a month, and she really only every comes in the chatroom we setup when I get on charmdate and pay .5 credits to ask to come -.-
- She avoids any progress in the relationship (since i bought the contact details) She says she’s nervous about giving information out and stuff, always has an excuse. Before I bought the details she was all for giving her phone number out and talking with me asap. Nothing since.
- She’s a model and that seems rather suspicious in itself on charmdate. (she says she did a few gigs while being a make up artist for some time … which seems consistent as there are very few professional shoots of her and they are old …)
So I am pretty torn between some giant red flags and some pretty convincing (green flags?). I probably hope deep down that she is real and sincere, but I somehow don’t think so. She seems like an amazing woman, very smart, very interesting life, funny and of course gorgeous (as they mostly are on charmdate) So would be cool if this turns out to be true. But i intend to keep it running until I have a definite answer which I hope shouldn’t be too long … but i have hoped that for ages now.
My suspicion is that I’m talking to the woman on the photos sure. But she has no real interest in being with me. I wonder how things will play out now that gradually we are phasing out charmdate. She said she had no idea about any money making for women through the site, and was generally unaware how the site worked. But I think she is making money off of charmdate, every chat and mail, and she’s just been playing along as long as she could.
I hate to have such suspicions and I try hard to dispel those without insulting her either. She didn’t like I asked for the first 2 rounds of photos, so gotta be creative for third try 🙂
If anyone wants to ask questions about my experiences on charmdate so far or anything feel free to contact me at marc.sublett(at)gmail.com
So yeah, I’m great at making walls!