My Ukrainian girl is a pro-dater: a sad dating story (Part 2 of 3)

This is the second part of the Ukrainian dating experience “My Ukrainian girl is a pro-dater: a sad dating story”. S. Part 1 here:

11. At my second visit, she told me her was Internet not working right, she wanted me to pay for a new 3-G modem, or she cannot read my letters. So I had to pay 580 UAH at a shop. She not thanks me for it. I think it is red flag to beg for things, and say, if I not pay she cannot read my letters.

12. At my second visit, it was my Birthday; I wanted to spend it with her. She agreed, but demanded me to give her a new dress, if not, she would not come. She had nothing warm to wear, but the day before she was on a wedding!!!! So I had to give her the dress, it cost me $185. Not nice for me she acts that way, but I had no choice, as usual. If I not paid, she not will meet me any more! I paid with my credit card in the shop.

professional pro-dater

13. A while after I paid her passport, then she told me she not want to go alone, she want to take a friend with her, Kira, ( ID: 3763229 elenasmodels) and they have been to a travel agency there, and it would cost $800 for both, including Visa, insurance, hotel, flights and transfers. A tricky move, this way I not can give her the ticket, I have to give the money to her, or the local travel agency. Later I found out I still can give them both tickets from Sweden, keep on reading….

14. I gave her a friendly offer, I told her I can fly there and follow her to Sweden!!! And email her ticket.

15. Then she became very, very angry and told me she has high moral values, and it would be inappropriate for a girl to travel alone or to be accompanied by me, because we are not married!!! How on earth can it be bad moral to sit with me in an aircraft!!! What do you think about this! It was I nice offer from me. Her reaction surprised me a lot.

16. I told her I couldn’t pay for two persons. THEN she told me Kira would pay for herself; why not at once tell me this!!!! (they live together in the apartment). Olga was very angry that I asked about it. So I had to accept that Kira was going to follow her to Sweden!!!

17. If Olga is a scammer, also Kira probably is a scammer, because if she were honest, she would protest against being dragged into Olga’s business, (I wrote to her that she was welcome here). First when Olga understood I not want to give her money in hand, Kira wrote “she has nothing with Olgas business to do”. I attach her letter in the end of the letter.  I cannot say they are scammers, read my letter and tell me what you think, and you are free to ask me. I also can send you some letters from Olga and me.

18. I also told her that the $400 is too low, only the tickets for me cost much more than $400. Then she was very angry, and told me that I only count money, but I told the price was too low, not too high, so her reaction was very strange. Maybe to take focus from the fact, price was not realistic.

From this point she founded an attitude to want to pick a quarrel, and I cannot see any honest reason for it. She acted so touchy I had to weigh every word on golden scales to be able to talk to her, very uncomfortable, I almost do not dare to ask something. Probably it’s  the purpose of her behaviour, I understand it,  now that I look back with hindsight.

19. How big is the probability that Kira has so much money (now raised to $650) that she want to spend it follow Olga to Sweden in winter time, only because Olga wants to meet me? I think is sound strange. Not so very realistic, but not impossible.

20. I wanted to meet Kira at Skype, to learn to know her a little before I meet her in person; they live in the same apartment, but NO. I wanted to meet Olga at Skype, NO, only when I paid for the passport it was possible. If a she likes me, why can’t we meet me at Skype???

21. Now time had gone to February, so why had I to pay for the fast delivery of the passport, so long time has gone, that she could have got 2-3 normal time passport during this time!!

22. Now she wrote and told me she been to the travel agency again, it is a trust worth company, they give a bill with a stamp and signature, so all is secure and official. The price was now raised to $650 for her part.

23. I told her it was OK, but more than what she told before, but that price was not realistic. I also told her that I am so curious about the information about the travel, -when she will come, -how long they stay, -where, -at which airport I would meet them. But she forgot to tell me, she only told me the price. And I wrote, I hope she tells me, because I am so curious.

24. Then her answer made me extremely surprised, she wrote very angry letters to me, that if I think the travel is too expensive she will cancel the travel. (Maybe she played angry to take the focus from the fact she not given any detail at all about the travel and so I not will DARE to ask anything more, she told her nerves can not bear much more, how can it be, I was very kind in the letter).

25. Later when we chatted at Skype, she refused to use the camera and sound, she told me she was angry because I write superior, and that my gifts to her was because I wanted her to WORSHIP me!!!!! The reason for her feeling was I did ask about my Christmas gifts to her some weeks ago. My reason was of course I was worried she not got them.

(She never tells me if she likes a gift or not, and often not say even “thank you”. At Christmas I gave her a silver jewellery, hand made here in north Sweden, a symbol of the midnight sun, and a USB-memory with the movie from our meeting, and a sweater.

At New Year I gave her flowers, chocolate and a bottle of Champagne from UA-flowers). A real person I think would not say such rude things to me, when she got quite nice gifts. It took also a lot of time and effort to send it to her by post. Her comments made me really sad. So she think I gave her gifts for I want her to WORSHIP me, so totally crazy, I cannot understand how anyone can think so.

26. After a while she calm down, but she still did NOT tell me anything about the travel. She told me she have so low salary, the travel agency told her she has to go via Poland to Sweden, it was the only way. (This is not necessary, I already told her I can do an invitation for her, I have spoken to the staff at the Swedish embassy, so I know exactly how to do this invitation for her. It is a friendly offer, but she was angry again).

27. She told me it is better to use the local travel agency, because they give her the Visa, coordinate the trip and she not need to go to Kiev for an interview and save time and money.

28. However, I know the Swedish regulations, and Swedish embassy have a VISA office in her town, Simferopol, and in normal case, no interview is needed. Therefore, she does not at all need to go 800 kilometres to Kiev, the Swedish VISA office is also in her city!!!! If I do an invitation, they check my economy, because then I have to sign a paper I will support her living cost in Sweden, and pay her ticket.

There will not be any problem at all for her to get VISA with an invitation from me. She not needs to go via Poland at all, if I do the invitation for her, and I told her I can do that for her, before I paid for the passport, at our meeting at my Birthday in Simferopol.

29.  If she only took my money (meant for her passport I gave her, $150), so she not have any passport, it is a smart idea to tell me she use the agency and go via Poland, because then it is the Polish embassy that would give her the Visa, and then I cannot just call them and ask if Olga has done the apply for to get Visa, as I easy could do to the Swedish embassy. A smart move??

30. So on this way she has CLOSED all ways for me to see if she done any VISA application or not.

31. She tells me Poland do not denies Visa in the passport, (maybe true???) because then she thinks the passport will be useless. I have not found that this is correct. I think this is USA regulation she speaks about. In Sweden a person can apply once again, if the VISA is denied, the passport is not then invalid, if the circumstances changed so she meets the requirements, it will not be any problem.

32. Olga tells me, the agency say, it will not be any problem to get Visa via Poland. However, I know, that Visa has to be in the country you stay most time in. So in such case, she has to stay in Poland longer time than in Sweden.

I promised a ticket to Sweden, not to go to Poland, and for every day in Sweden, she still need to have a proof from her bank account that she have 40 Euros for each days stay in Sweden? And a list of all hotels bookings they will stay at in Sweden, and so on…. it is still the same.

33. I wrote to her friend KIRA from Elenasmodels, and told her she is welcome to Sweden, and I am happy she follows Olga on her first trip abroad. Kira did read my letter, but did not answer me.  Kira does not speak / read English, so I wrote it in Russian. Kira has NOT protested and told me this is not correct, if she is not involved in these scam, she would protested, or if they are honest persons, they maybe was planning to come here, who knows???

34. She tells me I have to pay that specific week, because they already have an agreement and also a contract with the Travel Agency, and if I not pay this week, the price will rise with 30 Euros each week delay!!!

35. Can they have a contract and not paid for the travel? Not possible in Sweden. Higher price each week? Sounds as to try putting me on pressure, to hurry up and not think. Sounds more and more red flag on her story.

36. Note the important question here: She still has not told me any information at all at all about the travel, only arrival date 25 march. Not how long they stay or where. I want to prepare a lot, and want to know how much time we will have together. When I ask polite, she answer very angry.

37. I told her to go to the Agency and ask them to send me a payment link (email) on Internet for her travel, and I will pay with my credit card, then they get the money at once, and she gets the receipt. She can SMS me when she goes there and then I send the money at once. To pay to the agency would not be any problem, what I can see. She told me it is a trustworthy company. To transfer money to her bank account takes 5-7 days. Pay with VISA is faster and better.

38. Then she is very angry, and tells me the travel agency will steal my money if I do it this way. She wants the money on her bank account, so she can deliver them in person. It is the only safe way to pay, she tells me!

39. I told her it is OK, I can pay direct to her, she only first would tell me some details about the travel, and I hope she send me a scanned copy of the contract she told me she have, and she also before promised to send me.

And I wanted her to promise to refund me the money if the travel is cancelled by any reason, because it is influenza time, and when 2 persons travel together, the risk one of them are sick is doubled. She only has to refund the sum she gets from the Agency, they always keep maybe 20% of the sum, and this is OK for me.

I cannot see this is rude in any way? Sure, I want to have some basic information about the travel before I pay, how long time she staying here, for example.

40. She tells me she know the law because her brother is a lawyer and she will not promise anything, because then I can ask her for the money even if she come here!!!! Crazy things:

1). She tells me I will then steal money from her. She think I am a thief! But I have to pay to her and not know even how long they stay!!!

2). At summer she told me that her brother works as a high school teacher and earns only 2000 UAH/month, and now he is a lawyer! Maybe he has 2 educations, it can be possible, but most likely, a liar never remember everything about details they have told long time ago? Her education is also high school teacher, but in English, so she speaks perfect English. But she only worked one year, as teacher and do not want to do it again. So I am 100% sure she told me he is a teacher.

41. She told me Kira is angry, they are all busy people, both Kira and Olga have already made an agreement on vacation with their employer, and she now feels like a fool.

42. She tells me, if she not pays that week, the arrival day will not be 25 March; it can be a week later. Well, can they come at any time, can they change the vacation so easy, when there are 2 different employers, not so high probability. So not even the arrival day I did know!

43. I also gave her this new offer, if Kira can loan her the $650 for Olga’s part of travel, I will repay it to Kira when they arrive here, and Kira gets $300 extra on tip of it, for the 6 weeks loan, then her part of the travel only cost 350 dollar. They never even answered this propose.

44. I also gave a new offer number 2: I make an invitation for Olga, and I pay BOTH Olga’s and Kira’s aeroplane ticket and coordinate them, and send them by email. When they arrive in Sweden, Kira refund me her travel cost. This way the price will be much lower, so it is much better for Kira.

I also promised to give Olga a lot of Swedish “pocket money”, and offer them free living in a “whole house for themselves” (I have 2 houses) and free food, and I had done a long, long list with different activities we could do, as for example, ice-breaker safari (a real ship for tourists, cost a lot), adventure bath, well it was about 20 different exclusive things they could choose from.

Olga was only even more angry, and tell me she can not close her eyes for our problems….  =  I just wonder, what problems, some weeks before she wrote she miss me and are eager to come, maybe the problem is she understood she will get the travel, but not the money in her hand… then she withdraw and tell me, she will not come, because of me. My behaviour have done she will not look for foreign man any more, only local!!!

To be continued…



Krystyna is a Ukrainian woman who blogs about dating Ukrainian & Russian women and how to deal with intercultural differences in a Ukrainian/Russian-Western relationship.

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2 Responses

  1. Fransesco says:

    As for me i just hooked with a girl from Site is not bad, lots of information on places to go even with some useful tips, video and audio chat. As for bad sides, girls take time to answer and they are not interrogative themselves.

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