Ordered by Mail, But Far From Bought and Paid For

Most people think that a “mail order bride” is a desperate, foreign woman looking for an American ‘Sugar Daddy’ who will pay her financial way out of dire circumstances in exchange for a wild, crazy, subservient slave in the bedroom. I may be the exception to that rule but I hope that my experience is an inspiration to other women who grew up in a similar situation to mine.

I was born to an average family in the Ukraine where the prospects of a woman becoming financially independent are slim and none. Even with a college education there are no real opportunities for a woman to better herself. I got a taste of America during my junior year of college when I received a cultural exchange scholarship to attend a college in upstate New York. I loved the United States because there was so much opportunity for anyone willing to work toward being independent.

Ukraine mail order bride
Image Source: © Georgii Dolgykh | Dreamstime.com

Unfortunately, my Visa was not renewed and I returned to the Ukraine but I desperately wanted to return to the country where I knew I could become anything I wanted to become. The decision to register with an agency as a mail order bride was not one I made easily, but it seemed to be the only way to come back to the country that I now proudly call home. And, yes, the first eligible husbands were very disappointing. Their profiles made it clear that they were looking for uninhibited sex and a form of subservience somewhat similar to slavery. This was not what I wanted and, in truth, more than a little disgusting.

There was one profile that seemed different than all the others. He stood out because he said that he was looking for a wife. A loving companion willing to share everything in a relationship. Someone who could and would hold an intelligent conversation, offer insights and opinions, discuss current events and share life. It wasn’t all flowery words, but a sincere offer of a traditional marriage. When I first e-mailed him his initial response was to tell me that he was ‘a few years’ older than I was. This was refreshing and honest.

When we finally met face to face we both felt an attraction that soon became love. I may have been a mail order bride but neither one of us feel that I was ever bought and paid for.


Questions to this Ukrainian dating story?
Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert

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Ukrainian Dating Stories



Krystyna is a Ukrainian woman who blogs about dating Ukrainian & Russian women and how to deal with intercultural differences in a Ukrainian/Russian-Western relationship.

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