Ukrainain online dating: strange things, confused thoughts & feelings

Dear Krystyna,

Thank you for helping me to understand about Ukrainian mentality. It also looks that most of these women are the toys of the local marriage agencies. They promise them a lot of things and even answer for them from what I understand.

Basically, they try to sell them as products and it seems that most of these women do not really understand what is going on and totally trust and rely on these agencies. I was very surprised to hear that the agencies were calling the women one or several times a day to ask them what they want to send to such or such men and that they do not write from their own initiative.

They give them an email address but most of these women do not have internet connection and cannot use it so that you cannot communicate with them without going through the agency filtering.
So it is very difficult to find its way inside that since the interest of the agencies is that the women send you as many messages as possible a day even if the women do not really want too.

ukraine culture

Anyways the agencies have their username and password and totally control their communication. This is maybe why Lena decided to communicate with me with another email address since she seems to be cleverer than the other girls. The site I am on mostly rely on these agencies even if they do not seem to really trust them but do not have any other choice.

The Administration on the site did contact me recently to tell me that Lena was claiming to them that she was innocent and as me they do not really know what to think about it. They asked me some more explanation and told me that 540$ is for them the regular price in Ukraine for English courses. They also told me that they will watch up Lena to check if she is not doing that with all the men since they are also very suspicious about what she did. I also wonder if they are not also worried about the fact that she seems to be escaping from their system.

They told me that maybe I should ask to have a video meeting with her or call her with an interpreter to have a better idea of her feelings for me and what is in her minds. I am not too sure if I should do that or not. Do you think it will bring me something more? I am afraid it could bring me some more confusion since I very like this girl and it will be very easy for her to obtain everything from me.

I do not know if she will agree either since I did not have any contact with her for more than a week. I know that the local agency can force her to do anything and that it bring to them and to the site a lot of money to organize such a meeting. It also looks strange to me to always be forced to communicate with the women with the control of someone. I know that the women are censored on the site and cannot say everything they would like to say since the interpreters are filtering and removing some of their talks. I guess they are also censored in video meetings.

Ukraine dating

Here too, women think that men must do everything for them, the mentality is the same (I am not in the USA) but I never met girls acting like that on Western dating sites. There is one very strange thing I see with all the Ukrainian girls I am communicating with. They go to a dating site to find a foreigner man and do not seem to realize they will need to relocate. One even told me that she did not think she would have to change of country. They do not know anything about my country and are not very interested to have information on it; they say they do not mind since it is surely better than Ukraine. They say they will follow her man wherever he will go. I am very surprised about this lazy and submissive attitude. Logically, I guess they should first approximately know where they would like to go or at least take information?

Another woman told me that it was very important for her to have her wedding in Ukraine with her friends and that she absolutely wanted me to be friend with her friends, she did not seem to realize that she will not be going to live in Ukraine anymore after an eventual wedding. Most of these girls never left Ukraine and do not have any idea of how it is abroad.

They think that the man will arrange everything and that they will be happy like this. This is very confusing for a Western guy as me. I have been living in the USA for two years, and as a foreigner, when I was dating girls the first thing they were asking was where I was coming from, what I was doing as job and how was it in my country. Ukrainian girls never ask me these questions. They are totally focused on the feelings and about the fact that I will not drop or betray them.

I am very scared about the fact that these girls will never be able to get used to leave Ukraine. I have very good Ukrainian friends in the USA and their wives are absolutely not like these girls so I am very confused.

Krystyna

Krystyna

Krystyna is a Ukrainian woman who blogs about dating Ukrainian & Russian women and how to deal with intercultural differences in a Ukrainian/Russian-Western relationship.

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1 Response

  1. Ahmade says:

    True its not easy to have success online with all amount of fakes and scams. But i do believe there are still true people who just like me are looking for a soul mate or partner .I think success depends mostly on how real you are yourself, and how positive you are about others.

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