Interview with Alex – Ukrainian dating from a Ukrainian man’ point of view (Part II)
here you can read the continuation of the exclusive interview with Alex, a Ukrainian blogger. You find Part I of the interview here:
So what is Ukrainian dating from a Ukrainian man’ point of view?
Krystyna: As I know, the price charged for the International matchmaking services is pretty high although the agencies do not guarantee success. What benefits do you offer your customers?
I am particularly interested in your anti-scam policy. Every second or third mail I get from my readers concerns the question of Ukrainian online dating scam. Is there any chance to fully protect your customers from professional pro-daters and scammers?
Alex: That is a very good question Krystyna. Just to make sure we are still on the same page, I no longer have an active marriage agency of my own. I am done doing it.
Nobody can give you a guarantee, regardless of what they write on their web sites. I would highly recommend getting better with computers and the Internet. All of those red flags have been described thousand times. Yet somehow men keep falling into the same trap over and over. Even books have been written that teach you how to be more successful in dating Ukrainian women through dating agencies. You know this all too well because you wrote one as well! 🙂
I still have not had a chance to read it though! Even I, a person who no longer provides dating services have written one such article. So check out as many resources available as possible. This is definitely worth your time. With time you will learn how to read all those red flags. And that time normally comes much sooner if you care to learn from other people’s experiences.
Krystyna: I have also experienced that Western men become overcautious in Ukrainian dating. They analyze every word or action of the woman with scrupulous cautiousness. Everything seems for them to be a red flag in the communication with the Ukraine woman (e.g. the woman has no time to write a mail today – so this is a red flag; the woman does not have Internet at home – so this is a red flag).
What can you mention on this issue? In your opinion, what biggest mistakes are Western men making while dating Ukrainian women?
Alex: You won’t get too far in a relationship with any girl if you are being as cautious and negative as that. Nobody likes emailing and especially meeting someone grumpy. You need to be positive and try to enjoy the whole process. If you are writing her emails, just be as open and sincere as possible. This is necessary not to improve your chances with the girl, but to keep your morals and integrity.
Speaking of meeting women in person, just today I realized one thing while interpreting for a client of mine while he was on a dating with one girl from Poltava. This might be just him I don’t know, but he was trying to rush a relationship. Man, he was meeting this girl for the first time. They have never exchanged a single woman. Yet, he starts talking about coming to Poltava to meet someone for a long terms relationship, someone to have kids with. This is just nonsensical. Think of all the pressure you are putting on this poor girl.
Also, some guys just cannot stop telling good things about themselves: “I always help women to take off their jacket, always opens doors, always do this and that. And I was brought up to never raise a hand on a woman etc. etc.” All this is no doubt a good thing about you, but you don’t need to brag about it, unless you are asked that question specifically. Show all of those things in your actions because it is actions who speak louder than words, and not the other way around.
I feel that you guys are very often in a rush to build a relationship with a girl from our country, and I don’t blame you. You got too little time to spend in Ukraine (a week or 10 days the most), so you are trying to make it work within the time frame you are given. Yet that’s not how things work. Women need time. Women need space. And if you are not willing to provide them with that time and space, better stay home because that’s won’t work the way you want it. That’s a big lesson to learn.
Krystyna: Alex, thank you very much for the interesting and worthwhile answers. Do you have anything you would like to add?
Alex: Most importantly, have fun women you are meeting all these beautiful women, and visiting our interesting country of Ukraine. If you cannot as thing as single as that, then there is no way you will be able to enjoy a relationship even if you get to marry one of the girls. 5am, time to sleep. Thanks Krystyna, that was fun and I enjoyed answering your questions! 🙂
Questions? Feel free to ask Krystyna, your Ukrainian dating expert 🙂 (s. here: Contact Krystyna)