Interview with Alex – Ukrainian dating from a Ukrainian man’ point of view
Editor: Krystyna, founder of Ukrainian Dating Blog & Ukrainian Dating Stories and speaker at the iDate conference. On this blog she shares her knowledge and experiences with international dating and intercultural relationship. Read more
Editor: Krystyna, passionate dating blogger, speaker and author read more
In this exclusive interview with Alex Kravchenko, learn from a Ukrainian man’s point of view why Ukrainian ladies are looking for Western husbands. Moreover, learn the Pros and Cons of free and paid International online dating services. Have you ever asked yourself, “What am I doing wrong in respect to dating Ukrainian ladies?” Have you been making the same Ukrainian dating mistakes many Western men have made for years? Alex will give you some exquisite advice how to become a winner in your Ukrainian dating adventure.
Hi Alex. Thank you very much for agreeing to answer my questions. Let’s start our interview! First, please tell us briefly about yourself: where do you live, what do you do, what are your hobbies?
Hey Krystyna. Thanks for having me here. First of all, it is pretty late in my part of the world while I am writing this (4am). As such, my answers to your questions will be very straight to the point.
I live in Poltava, which is a city located in the central part of Ukraine. I do many things. I work as an SEO manager for an LA based IT company full time. I also run my own travel agent site about Poltava (s. here: http://www.poltavatravel.com). Speaking of my hobbies, just like most Ukrainians, I am a big fan of soccer. Traveling and learning new things are a few other items that sit high on my list of hobbies.
Poltava Travel: Company Definition
Poltava Travel is a Poltava based travel agency. We provide friendly travel assistance to people visiting our wonderful city of Poltava from abroad.
Poltava Travel was started in 2005 by two people named Alex and Warren. Warren is an American citizen living in Los Angeles, California. Alex is a Ukrainian residing in Poltava, Ukraine.
So you work at an International marriage agency in Poltava. That means you know firsthand why Ukrainian women decide to marry a foreigner and leave Ukraine, right? What are the main reasons?
Just to clarify it Krystyna, I no longer work for any marriage agency. There was time in my life when I used to work as a translator for 2 different marriage agencies in Poltava. There was also a moment when I used to have a dating site of my own. The site is still up and running, but nobody is using it since I decided to remove all of the profiles.
I did this partially because I got tired off the whole “dating thing”. As you know, there are moments in any person’s life when one wants to simply stop doing what they do, and move on with their live in a totally new direction. I cannot say that I went that far away though. I would say that around 90 percent of people who use my travel agent site come to Poltava to meet women. And more often than not, they tend to use my transportation and interpreter services.
With all that said, I still can provide some valuable feedback. It is a cliché that many women in Ukraine want to leave our country. In fact, I would say that most women would rather have their boyfriend stay with them in Ukraine. Unfortunately, that is not what most men want. Needless to say, most men have a job that brings a stable income.
As such, a couple decides to move to a place where they will be able to live more or less a comfortable life style. Why women of Ukraine marry foreign men? Those who fall in love will marry because they love their men. Those who are doing it just to leave the country will do it to leave the country. The answer is as simple as that.
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I am wondering if you as a Ukrainian man are not offended by the fact that our women are forced to search for their fate abroad because Ukrainian men are not able to give their women financial security and stability? Are not you afraid that all “normal” Ukrainian women leave Ukraine in 10-20 years and Ukrainian men will be forced to look for a wife from abroad?
Personally, I am a relatively secure person. And since I am a married man, I don’t really care if women are leaving our country. I have had so many clients of mine coming to Poltava to meet our women. It has never been an issue for me. Some of my ex clients are now my good friends.
Speaking of being “forced”, I don’t believe that is the right way to describe the situation. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything in our country, just like in any other country of the world. We do live in the XXI century, and contrary to women in Middle East, Ukrainian women have a freedom of choice when it comes to choosing a job to make their living. Be it a man or a woman, a person who works hard and is willing to learn will always be able to make a good living in Ukraine.
(c) Macniak | Dreamstime.com
I have met quite a few women who earn more money than I do. They can easily buy things that need to keep them happy. Only a lazy person will not be able to provide herself with a decent living. It is time when women should stop thinking that it should only be a man who should bring home the bacon. In all Western countries there are families where women “wear the pants”, if you know what I mean. And Ukraine should not be the exception.
Let’s talk about International marriage and matchmaking agencies in Ukraine. Do you believe that this is still possible to find an honest Ukrainian woman for life through paid dating services?
From your point of view, which is better for Western men looking for a woman from Ukraine – paid online dating sites/marriage agencies or free dating sites/social networks (e.g. VK.com or mamba.ru)?
Yes, I believe it is still possible to find a decent woman through Ukrainian dating agency, be they paid or free ones.
There are a few pros of using social networks. Here are just to know a few:
Using social networks is free
You are communicating directly with a person
If you speak decent Russian or Ukrainian, then there is no point in using dating sites (paid AND free). Dating sites have earned a bad reputation. If you think about it, a dating site is a company and just like any business, they primarily carry about meeting their bottom line.
Even free sites are there for a reason. Some sell ads, while others may harvest names and email addressed so they can eventually use all this data to promote their paid dating sites. I am not saying that that’s the way how things are. These are just a few possible scenarios to consider.
With social networks things are free. Just make sure you don’t send any money to people you have not personally met, and you will be fine. 🙂
As I know, the price charged for the International matchmaking services is pretty high although the agencies do not guarantee success. What benefits do you offer your customers?
I am particularly interested in your anti-scam policy. Every second or third mail I get from my readers concerns the question of Ukrainian online dating scam. Is there any chance to fully protect your customers from professional pro-daters and scammers?
That is a very good question Krystyna. Just to make sure we are still on the same page, I no longer have an active marriage agency of my own. I am done doing it.
Nobody can give you a guarantee, regardless of what they write on their web sites. I would highly recommend getting better with computers and the Internet. All of those red flags have been described thousand times. Yet somehow men keep falling into the same trap over and over. Even books have been written that teach you how to be more successful in dating Ukrainian women through dating agencies. You know this all too well because you wrote one as well! 🙂
I still have not had a chance to read it though! Even I, a person who no longer provides dating services have written one such article. So check out as many resources available as possible. This is definitely worth your time. With time you will learn how to read all those red flags. And that time normally comes much sooner if you care to learn from other people’s experiences.
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I have also experienced that Western men become overcautious in Ukrainian dating. They analyze every word or action of the woman with scrupulous cautiousness. Everything seems for them to be a red flag in the communication with the Ukraine woman (e.g. the woman has no time to write a mail today – so this is a red flag; the woman does not have Internet at home – so this is a red flag).
What can you mention on this issue? In your opinion, what biggest mistakes are Western men making while dating Ukrainian women?
You won’t get too far in a relationship with any girl if you are being as cautious and negative as that. Nobody likes emailing and especially meeting someone grumpy. You need to be positive and try to enjoy the whole process. If you are writing her emails, just be as open and sincere as possible. This is necessary not to improve your chances with the girl, but to keep your morals and integrity.
Speaking of meeting women in person, just today I realized one thing while interpreting for a client of mine while he was on a dating with one girl from Poltava. This might be just him I don’t know, but he was trying to rush a relationship. Man, he was meeting this girl for the first time. They have never exchanged a single woman. Yet, he starts talking about coming to Poltava to meet someone for a long terms relationship, someone to have kids with. This is just nonsensical. Think of all the pressure you are putting on this poor girl.
Also, some guys just cannot stop telling good things about themselves: “I always help women to take off their jacket, always opens doors, always do this and that. And I was brought up to never raise a hand on a woman etc. etc.” All this is no doubt a good thing about you, but you don’t need to brag about it, unless you are asked that question specifically. Show all of those things in your actions because it is actions who speak louder than words, and not the other way around.
I feel that you guys are very often in a rush to build a relationship with a girl from our country, and I don’t blame you. You got too little time to spend in Ukraine (a week or 10 days the most), so you are trying to make it work within the time frame you are given. Yet that’s not how things work. Women need time. Women need space. And if you are not willing to provide them with that time and space, better stay home because that’s won’t work the way you want it. That’s a big lesson to learn.
Alex, thank you very much for the interesting and worthwhile answers. Do you have anything you would like to add?
Most importantly, have fun women you are meeting all these beautiful women, and visiting our interesting country of Ukraine. If you cannot as thing as single as that, then there is no way you will be able to enjoy a relationship even if you get to marry one of the girls. 5am, time to sleep. Thanks Krystyna, that was fun and I enjoyed answering your questions!
Our Tipp: How to Choose the Best International Online Dating Services for You
About the editor: Krystyna is an International dating blogger and writer. Here you find more than 500 articles on dating Slavic, Asian and Latin ladies.
In her regularly updated blog posts, Krys has shown a keen eye for online dating issues, romance scam and cross-cultural relationships.
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