Trust Issues: 10 Lies Men Tell Themselves While Dating Abroad

Like that time you said you could bench 200 or “last all night,” but now it’s emotional reps and romantic cardio, baby.

Let’s be real, fellas. When it comes to international dating, a lot of us come in swinging with confidence… and a few well-placed delusions. We’re not just looking for love—we’re out here writing the script for a blockbuster romance where we’re the lead, the hero, and the multilingual Casanova. 

Only problem? Sometimes we’re doing reps in a fantasy gym. 

Here’s how men lie to themselves (and no, it’s not just about hairlines or height).

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1. “I’m different from other guys.” Sure, buddy. Every scammer, fake profile, and dating agency rep has heard that one before. You’re not “like the other men”—except you’re messaging the same copy-paste profile they are.

2. “We really connected.” You bonded over her telling you she dreams of a kind, serious man with a good heart. Which… just so happens to be every bio on the site.

3. “She doesn’t care about money.” Except she only chats on the platform you pay for, has mysteriously expensive emergencies, and never volunteers to move the convo to WhatsApp. But hey, she said she’s not materialistic.

4. “I’m a good judge of character.” Except for that one time. And the time before that. And the time you thought “translator fees” were totally normal.

5. “I’m building something real.” Building what? A text thread? A recurring monthly charge? An emotional rollercoaster with no seatbelts? Because she still hasn’t video chatted.

6. “I’m not in this for the sex.” And yet, the profiles you keep clicking all look like they just stepped out of a swimsuit catalog. Just sayin’.

7. “I’m ready to settle down.” Until someone younger messages you. Or someone with more, uh, photogenic qualities. Suddenly, you’re swiping like it’s cardio day.

thoughtful young man touching lip holding and looking at mobile phone isolated on blue background

8. “I don’t need help.” No coach, no translator, no cultural insights. Just pure instinct and vibes. Which has already landed you in emotional debt.

9. “It’s not about fantasy.” Except you’ve never even asked about her real daily life. But you have imagined her baking bread in a sundress. In slow motion.

10. “This time it’s real.” The most seductive lie of all. New site, new profile, same hopeful spiral. We get it. Love is the ultimate bench press; you keep thinking the next lift will be the one.

We all want to believe we’re the exception, not the rule. But international dating is a minefield, and ego, hope, and a good lighting filter can make a guy trip fast. 

So next time you find yourself flexing your “instincts,” ask: Is this love… or just another rep in the Fantasy Gym?

You want to learn how to find a great foreign woman and experience exciting International dating adventure, but you have no clue of where to start. Not to worry, we are here to help! ☝️ Ask Krystyna
Krystyna Dating Blogger
About the editor: Krystyna is the author of three dating ebooks, including  ‘International Dating Digest For Men: Finding Love Overseas’.
As the leading dating blogger Krystyna is a consultant for many dating services and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching and romance scam.
With decades of experience, Krystyna is the authority on the international dating scene, and it’s her passion to help people sustain relationships that bridge cultures and countries.

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