I just want to tell you I appreciate your website. For the first time in my life I have actually tried internet dating. I never tried it in western Europe either even though very many of my friends has been into it. Reading your site has given me a better understanding of what is happening and what I can expect.
Why I stayed away from online dating?
I had been married for 20 years when I and my wife broke up as friends after years of just living different lifes. I am of Scandinavian origin but live in Spain, I have lived all my life travelling and been to many countries, also Russia and Ukraine for my business. I speak 4 languages fluently and get by on 3 more. As a businessman with experience from many countries and all kind of people I consider me to be quite sharp to very quickly see through any type of trick or scam. That is only one of the reasons I stayed away from online dating.
One night I was viewing some YouTube videos and saw an ad about “Russian and Ukranian brides” or something like that. I clicked on that and ended up on a site that I thought was just another “pay 50 USD to sign up”. But there were no cost or any directly obvious charges just for entering so I signed up and made a simple profile about me with no photo.
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Oops...One letter to three women
1-2 days later there where like 20 introduction letters from different women. I didnt have a clue how it really worked but i selected just three that seemed Ok and was from women over 30. Of course as an inexperienced dater I did the terrible mistake no one should do, not in business and not writing women. I wrote one letter to the three, and forgot to change the name in the letter…
All three answered me back, one of course had the right name, one answered without comment and one answered like “Hi, nice to get a letter from you. But my nam is O… not M…!
And then she started asking me questions, can I accept a woman that has a child, and some more pretty frank questions. I got caught by that letter because I understood that it was from a person that was interested in communicating but also a bit causaus and hurt by me not caring of checking the name.
My fascinating story started
Next letter I of course apologized and told her I love kids, that I am a father myself etc. I directly pointed out our age difference and that she should think twice but we could communicate for fun. O.. turned out to be the nicest woman I ever met, she is funny and not afraid of saying what she wants and thinks. She started to send photos of her and her daughter, her friends and was asking for my photos, of my family brothers etc. I dont know how many letters we know have exchanged but it is quite a few.
Of course I was afraid this was a scam, was she (they) going to ask me for money? Or maybe a ticket or something. Nothing like that happend, she spoke of her daily life in the shop she works and of her 5 year old daughter that takes all her time, and of us. After a while I asked her what she thaught about internet dating and she told me she had the same worries. She had heard horror stories and tales about crazy western men. Still she liked my letters and gave me many compliments for writing well, I told her that I was a business man and have learned to write under many years, but I was not experienced in writing to women like this.
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The first call as like the first date
After a while we decided to make a call between us with translator. That was the most nervous experience I have had for 20 years. The minutes before the call my heart was pumping in 120 for sure. She told me afterwards she had felt as if she had been sitting on a cactus waiting for the call…
The call went great and the translator (woman) did agreat job, but we were both a bit nerveous and spoke to much and fast really. We did speak about many things and after 30 min the call went down but we got on the chat instead and just couldnt stop chatting with each other. She sent me a picture with a big heart on it.
You never know the ways of your heart
Now we chat and mail nearly every day, we send photos and share about daily things. She knows nearly no English so i have hired a Russian (Ukranian) teacher that works with me for 3 – 6 hours a week plus homework. Since I am quite good on languages I expect to speak the basics this summer when I am going to Lugansk to meet her. We will not push this faster then neccesary. We are both aware that things maybe not will be exactly as we picture them but with all the communication and photoexchange we are doing there will be no surprises at least. Still you never know the ways of the heart and as she says, it is first when we sit down and look into each others eyes that we really will know.
Is Dating with Ukrainian woman a scam ?
I can of course never say if this is for real before I have been there. But every cell in my body tells me that everything is going just fine and O. is just a wonderfull woman. I do understand her situation to be a single mother in Ukraine is not easy, but I think she would have been able to find easier prey then me if she was just trying to get a ticket out of there.
All my experience of doing business in the most corrupt parts of the world would send me some signals if this was wrong. I am just convinced it is the best thing that has happend to me in along time, and if we wouldnt work out as a match, I am sure we will be good friends. i have told her that I will go to meet her without any expectations that she will be my girlfriend or anything similar and I think she appreciate that.
I just wanna trust my woman
Did I mention that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot of women. Her little daughter is the cutest thing ever.
I do have some resources to check on her if i wanted, but I dont do it. One of my friends has a quite well known american band that often tours in Russia and the countries around there, also in her city. His Ukranian agent could easily check out O. and see who she is but I dont want to risk spoil everything by doing things that might later put myself in question from her side if she would find out that I have done something like that. I rather ask her directly instead if i want to know something. If this goes well, who knows, maybe one day I will ask her the most important question of the all, do you want to marry me?…
Do you think this is for real?
My question to you really (more then just telling my story) is do you think this is for real? I am just stunned of her and she seems so fantastic in all ways that I must say I just question the whole situation because it seems to be to good to be true? Its like I am waiting to wake up from this dream, but when I wake up she is still there and just more beautiful for every day and we just cant stop to speak to each other.
The site i am on charges for each mail and chat and call etc. But i dont think they overcharge, everything is translated well and on the chat it is in real time. The translator on the call was a very nice and serious woman. Maybe i am more used to what stuff like this actually cost in business then non professional people, but also keep in mind that dating and communiacting with western girls arent cheap.
Only loossers complain they spend a lot of money for chatting
I have spent a lot of money on that. I think it is only loosers that complain so much about the cost in this, it isnt that much. I dont think I have spent thousand dollar yet, I could easily spend that on just one or a couple of evenings out with a woman in a larger international city.
Thanks again for your website,
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Of course, this is right and wise to be careful in the International online dating industry. But don’t overdo it because this fear and caution may develop into paranoia. The first sign of scam is asking for money. Your woman has not ask you for this – it is a wonderful sign. I think the problem is that men read too many negative stories and reviews. I do not say that it is wrong but…
Optimism is also important for success, isn’t it? But I have experienced that most Western men are scared about the fact of getting been scammed. This fear does not give them the opportunity to be glad and happy about their communication with the Ukrainian woman who can be their match for life.
Your fears before first meeting
I think your story is more than good. You met a fantastic woman online who shows a true and real interest to get known you better. She tells you about her life and asks you about yourself and your family. Isn’t it wonderful? As for me, she is really interested in you. Of course, there is a possibility that you have no chemie between you in person. That can happen. However, that can happen in dating with Western girls, as well. There is no guarantee. But you know about this. And it is really very good to stay realistic.
I would also recommend you not to check this woman by the Ukrainian agent. This woman is not a criminal and did not give you a reason not to trust her. Think about that she does not know you in person and may think that you can be a crazy Western guy looking only for a sexual adventure in Ukraine. But I am sure she wants to believe that you are a honest guy with serious intentions.
Your story is not too good to be true. Your story is normal: you meet each other and start to communicate to get known each other better. I think such banal things as a regular communication and showing interest become unusual and too good in this sometimes cruel life…
I wish you a lot of luck in Ukraine!
I hope your communication with O… will develope into something special and serious!
About the editor: Krystyna is the author of three dating ebooks, including ‘Krystyna’s lessons on successful dating Ukrainian ladies’ & ‘International Dating Digest For Men: Finding Love Overseas’. As the leading International Dating Expert and Dating Coach Krystyna is a consultant for many dating sites and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, online dating and matchmaking.
Need dating coaching? Check here: www.krioda.com
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