My name is Oksana Makarova and I am a Ukrainian Mail Order Bride. I want to share my story so that other women may learn from what happened to me. It is my hope that men in search of a partner for life will pay attention to my words.
Perhaps it will teach them to take care and to have a better understanding of what life is like for women in Russia and the Ukraine, women who have suffered from misfortune and are desperate to begin anew, hopeful to find happiness, a life of comfort, and love along the way.
Is it humiliating being mail order bride?
It all began late in the year 2000. I was living in poverty in the town of Odessa in the Ukraine. On a whim, I gave in to the urging of a friend to have the chance to meet American men. I took a twelve hour ride by train to the distant Black Sea Hotel.
I ended up lined up against a wall with two hundred other girls, all decked out in their finest, while a small number of men from America looked at what was offered and thought about choosing a bride. It was like an auction or a cattle show and it was humiliating to stand and be stared at by men in their fifties and sixties.
When you are lucky and he chose you
Once we left the line up and some of the women paired off with the men, I looked at the pamphlet that explained an American company was trying to find wives for wealthy Americans that were discontent with women in America. They were supposedly in search of partners with good family values like Russian women.
A man in his fifties approached me. Through an interpreter, I found out he was a Florida doctor who wanted to offer me marriage and comfort if I would start a family. After I said yes for the sake of my son, he was kind for a week and left. I prepared for coming to America by learning English.
Final words: my abusive American husband
When I came to America nearly a year later, it all changed. He was demanding, only wanted me for chores and to have his children, and was abusive to my son. I had a son by him but he was so terrible one day to my Russian-born son, a social worker came and removed us from the situation.
I eventually found a new life and good man but it took a long time. Women need to be careful when they choose a partner in America to find out as much as they can and never stay in a bad relationship. They can find a better life but must use common sense and always place their welfare first.