Dear Krystyna, hello
I would like to thank you for creating such a helpful and interesting website. It has helped me a lot to understand women from the Ukraine.
My long story started with dating site
Well Krystyna I well get to the point of my question. Well I meet this girl on loveme.com and I did not know she wrote to me because at the time I did not think that I would actually meet someone there and I thought that it was all a scam. When I communicated with her, we enjoyed talking and we talked about our life and goals etc. Well there was an incident in my life where I could no longer talk to her because a family member died and I had to leave the country for funeral and so I lost my part time job.
So soon about six months after I found her on vkontact.ru, I sent her a message and she stated at first she did not know who I was but after I told her our story of communication she said she knew me and was glad that I had found her.
Why girls asking for money?
I explained to her the situation and she seemed happy and was glad to talk to me. Well when we were first talked on loveme.com she said how she was coming to the United States on a student work summer program and when I talked to her on vkontact she said that this was still true.
Well Krystyna my problem was that she said that while she was in the bus going to pay for medical insurance to come to USA she said that she was carrying 460 dollars in her purse when someone stole her purse, and she said to me that she used money that she was going to use for life here in the USA to pay for medical insurance and that I should lend her 500 dollars, and that she would pay it back to me when we meet in USA.
The lie is the first sign of scam
At first I was like great another scammer so I was very cautious and asked her that I could not send the money and she said that she understood but she seemed upset about this when I tried to talk to her she seemed to answer but in a way that you could sense she was mad at me.
Well tried to research this whole student work program and to my surprise on the site I found it said that medical insurance is only about 35 dollars per month, and she said she was only going to be in the US for about three months so she should have told me to lend her 105dollars.
Try to catch a scammer
I don’t know maybe she might have said she had it in Ukraine currency I did not ask her about this because I thought maybe she said this for a reason. Well Krystyna days go by and I thought to myself why not give her the money. I mean I have lost more money than that in my life. so I told her of how if she takes the money I will not be able to visit her in Maine, BAr harbor where she is coming to work.
I told her how I was saving to visit her in Ukraine so I sent her a message explaining and offering the money, I was saying in my mind here it goes she is going to accept it and I will never see her again so I was upset and sick to my stomach because I knew I had lost her A SCAMMER.
How I fall in love with Ukrainian girl
To my surprise she rejected the money and said she could not take it because she understood my situation and said that the only reason she asked was because she has already asked friends for money and I was the last person she could turn to, I was shocked to hear this and so happy I think our relationship grew from this and we are better for it she knows that although I have never meet her.
She knows she has my full support and I would rather see her be happy, I think she was so taken away that I would give her the money and risk not seeing her but that I would give it to her to make her wish to visit the US possible, she seemed really happy about this but still said NO to the money.
Both young and non-experienced
So we are going to meet in Maine in bar harbor she is coming this June so we are excited about this. “But I would like to ask you what do you think did she try to scam me, is she just waiting to get more money from me that she knows that I will send it, or is what we have real”?
Also I would like to inform you that we are young, she is 19 and I am 21 we are both students, but I have recently graduated and am looking to start my life and although I think we are young, I think we both feel something, well at least I do.
Ukrainian women are submissive - true or lie?
Well I know what these dating sites say that Ukrainian and Russian women are family oriented, not ruined by feminism and are submissive to their husband and let the man be in charge of the family.
This NEVER was a selling point to me and in fact I find this actually quite disgusting to me when I look at her I do not look to dominate her, to tell her what to do that she should stay home and not persue her own dreams. I encourage her as I said before.
I care and accept and in fact if she said she wanted to do something I would support her, because I care about her. This is so stupid how I find some men that treat this women with such disrespect expecting a house maid or sex slave a trophy, a stay at home submissive women.
I get angry when I see this. I think that although we are both young we know what we want and she was surprised to see how mature I was for my age.
What is wrong with Ukrainian guys?
Well I never thought that I would find someone here I am actually a pretty handsome guy. I actually do pretty. I have no trouble getting girls in the USA and truth is it I get hit on by girls I do not even have to try.
I dress well and here in the States no one really takes care of themselves well at least the men do not or dress well like I do. I dress in custom fitted flannel shirts and sports coats with 400 dollar imported Italian dress, shoes and Persian cologne and expensive haircuts. I mean I actually get hit on by guys in the States, which is funny.
The REASON I say this is because I was surprised TO SEE that Ukrainian men actually are fit and dress if not the same as me but better, and are also quite handsome. Not that I like guys or anything this was really strange to me, I am actually NORMAL in Ukraine.
Intelligent and nice girls where are you?
Although I have a good brain on my shoulders I recently graduated from a medical assistant school and will soon go to a radiology program and I plan to be a doctor and I was also in the military for a while so I have dedication in the USA or any part of the world I am a good man and girls drool over me here in the States.
I KID you not when I walk in the streets or am shopping people stare at me and in high school I was voted most handsome and likely to succeed in life.
I am also quite intellectual in conversation my girl was surprised to see how well I spoke about religion, government and life she could not keep up with me, though with so much experience I have found that I do NOT like American women.
All Ukrainian women want to marry an American!
I find my lady to be more REAL but most of this guys also go to school and are just as smart as me> this is also another question I have for you if this men look so good and dress so well why would a Ukrainian women want to marry a foreigner.
I mean most of this guys the majority of them are losers and not worth the time of this girls, so why would they want to marry an ugly American where there are plenty of good men in their country. I mean I know that the internet talks about how they are all alcoholics and treat there women bad but when I look in vkontact they seem very composed and cool and charming and nice to these girls.
They even seem better than American guys. I don’t know what you think about this I would really appreciate your help.
Unfortunately I have to say that asking for money is one of the basic sign of scam. It is not normal if the woman you do not know in person asks you for money. No woman who respects herself will not ask a man she does not know for money.
Most of women in Ukraine have a job and can pay for translating their messages, Internet fees or medicine for a sick mother. Only online dating scammers ask for money after having written 3-4 nice messages.
How do online dating scammers act?
We’ve all seen them at least once. They seem to know what we want, why we want it, and even worse, how we want it. Yep, I’m talking about those damn “perfect women”, the ones that make the Western men think we found love. Men fall in love, write out a check for $100k, and put it in an envelope to Ukraine, hoping to bring their love from Ukraine here. But, at the end of the day, when that check gets mailed out, all we really have is our own love–and a really light bank account.
These scams are a common scam whether it be an email scam or one from dating sites–even popular ones! Don’t feel like an idiot if you bought into this once. Many men do, and that’s a fact. There is one simple way to avoid these scams, and it goes likes this: If it sounds too good to be true, it is! These “women” (who are probably old, ugly men), will seem like they want to give you the world.
Are you mature enough for serious relationship?
Well, your girl can be a professional dater who uses online dating services to ask men for money. Maybe not. I do not know her personally. I know that she is only 19 years old and perhaps is not mature enough for a serious relationship. I have to say that it is strange if a 19 y.o. woman looks for a husband abroad.
I cannot understand why girls ask for money if they do not know men in person. I would never send my money to the persons I have never met.
You are very young, too. Are you mature for an intercultural relationship? Are you ready to support your wife from Ukraine financially? You know that a woman needs about 2 years to find a good job in the USA. Getting married to a woman from Ukraine costs a lot of money. And the men should understand that before they decide to find a match in Ukraine.
Personality is more important than the look!
this is also another question i have for you if this men look so good and dress so well why would a ukranian women want to marry a foreigner i mean most of this guys the majority of them are losers and not worth the time of this girls, so why would they want to marry an ugly American where there are plenty of good men in there country
As you know, the look and clothes do not play any role in a marriage. Personality is much more important.
First, not every man in Ukraine and Russia looks good. Second, a lot of Ukrainian and Russian men are spoiled because there are many beautiful women in Ukraine who are looking for a husband (the situation is not like in the USA or Germany where many thick, unkempt, emancipated and masculine women live).
The women who want to leave Ukraine in any case get married to fat ugly Western men. The Ukrainian women looking for love abroad get married to attractive, honest, nice, and intelligent Western gentlemen.
E.g., my fiance who is German is 2 years younger than me and looks very nice. All attractive Russian and Ukrainian men who look good and are nice to the women find their match immediately – they have really no problems to find a beautiful woman.
About the editor: Krystyna is the author of three dating ebooks, including ‘Krystyna’s lessons on successful dating Ukrainian ladies’ & ‘International Dating Digest For Men: Finding Love Overseas’. As the leading International Dating Expert and Dating Coach Krystyna is a consultant for many dating sites and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, online dating and matchmaking.
Need dating coaching? Check here: www.krioda.com
FOLLOW KRYSTYNA ON SOCIAL MEDIA