Today, I decide to make an interview with a German man who is married to a Ukrainian woman for over a year. Daniel is quite young (he is only 28 years old), works at a marketing company in Frankfurt and is happy with his beautiful young wife from Ukraine.
Daniel is a good friend of mine and asks me for advice from time to time, namely: how to deal with intercultural differences in a Ukrainian-German relationship. I am happy that Daniel agreed to reply my answers.
Hi Daniel. Thank you very much for the today’s interview! Tell us please why you decided to spend your life with the Ukrainian woman. Many German men say that Ukrainian and Russian women are not easy and relationship with these women can be a big challenge for them. Is the relationship with a Ukrainian woman a challenge for you, as well?
Hi Krystyna. First of all I have to thank you for your interest in interviewing me and for giving me the opportunity to share my personal opinion about Ukrainian and Russian women with other men all over the world. As you already pointed out in your question a relationship with a Ukrainian woman is indeed way more challenging than I would ever have expected.
Especially at the beginning of our relationship, so I have to admit, I didn´t have any imagination how to handle a Ukrainian woman or further more what she expects and demands from her man. So it definitely took some time to get used to all these belongings! I nowadays often think I´m still far away from being a good and caring man for my wife, although I love her with every beat of my heart. But what I definitely want to say.
All this shouldn´t frighten anyone of you guys, reading this right now. That´s what makes the relationship to a Ukrainian woman so interesting. Ukrainian women keep tracking on you. You always have to give everything you have to satisfy the woman you love. Believe me, it will never get boring!
In your opinion, is there a great difference between German and Ukrainian women? I do not talk only about the appearance of the women but also the mentality, the view of husband’s and wife’s roles in the marriage as well as the temperament?
Besides the appearance of Ukrainian and Russian women, which absolutely differs from the appearance of most German women, you are right in your assumption. My wife is a lot more, let´s say traditional than every German women I met in my entire life. In my opinion the problem of Western and modern societies, and beyond that western and modern relationships, is, that people don´t relate to traditional values. People want to express themselves, they want to be successful and live a life according to their belongings and their very own concept.
Here we have the main difference between German and Ukrainian or Russian women. My Ukrainian wife is willing to give way more than I would ever demand of her. She doesn’t only focus on herself but is always concerned about friends, family and yes … me as well 😉 It sounds some kind of clumsy, but Ukrainian women definitely understand the role of being a woman containing all the tasks that belong to these traditional values.
Therefore my wife demands a lot more from me, than every of my further girlfriends. She wants me to be the strong part in our relationship. I have to be a real man and give my wife the feeling she can be weak. Women are fragile while men have to be handsome and severe.
Believe me guys, in the very first moment you might think is not easy to take and you might ask yourself if all your efforts are worth it. They definitely are. Besides the fact you have a real and female woman on your side, they will make you feel like a man. I never experienced that before I met my beautiful Ukrainian wife.
We all know couples often quarrel. Of course, you have conflicts in your marriage, too. Do you guess for what reasons? Do you think that intercultural differences could be a reason for your conflicts? Or do you think that the cross-cultural background of your marriage plays no role in this case?
I knew you would ask me that question! 🙂 The reasons for quarreling often base somehow on intercultural differences. Although I have to point out that no one should overestimate this topic. Definitely both cultures (the Russian and Ukrainian cultures differ as well but I correlate them in this case) are absolutely different. For me this especially belongs in the education.
In Germany boys and girls are raised way more equally than for example in the Ukraine. Over here girls are told to take their part in the society, further more to somehow fight for not being suppressed by men. That often scares me a bit. I don´t know why we have this situation over here in Germany. For me it is not understandable why we have this competition between boys and girls, respective men and women.
There is a place for both genders in a society which doesn´t compete at all but correlate instead. I often got the feeling we German forgot that somehow over the last years, presumable according to the fight for female rights beginning in the 70s. Don´t get me wrong. I absolutely have no problem when women go studying and trying to get a job they love. Far beyond, I support that. But that doesn´t necessarily mean women have to lay aside their traditional values.
Here the (so often called great and advanced) western States can learn a lot from the Ukraine and Russia. Kids are raised with different but matching values. Men are told to take their part as the strong companion, while women definitely learn they can rely on the man of their choice.
Before I digress, most of the intercultural differences depend on exactly that fact. Western men lose the ability to take their part and jump in the role they have to and Ukrainian or Russian women demand that!
What I nearly forgot. We quarrel quite often, and these quarrels are way more intensive than anything I experienced before. Flying shoes and other hard subjects including 😉
What have you learned while being married to the Ukrainian woman?
The most important lesson I have learned while being married to my beloved wife is that you always have to work hard for the relationship. In comparison to the relationship with my Ukrainian woman I would call a relationship to a German woman as nearly relaxing 🙂 I’ve learned to be more a man than I would have ever needed before. Although I have to admit I just did some little steps on a long road. That leads to another thing I´ve learned. Never stand still. Always try to get further and always work hard on you. Standstill will lead to nothing than losing the respect of your wife.
Furthermore I´ve learned to understand women better than ever before. As I already mentioned, German women often doesn´t behave real female. They are frightened of showing weakness as well as transmitting their belongings and wishes. My Ukrainian wife exactly shows and tells me what she wants. That gives me the opportunity to understand her and be the man she wants me to be.
Thank you very much for your detailed answers. My last question is what you want to wish my readers?
Well, first of all I hope I could give you some little advice on how to handle Ukrainian women and what the main differences between German and Ukrainian or Russian women are from a male’s point of view.
I wish all of you seeking good luck to find the girl or woman of your life in Ukraine. Always keep playing hard, try to work on yourself and respect your woman´s needs and belongings. Be gentle but strong, be generous but male! 🙂
Keep on reading and commenting on ukrainiandatingblog.com. I think all of you can be very happy Krystyna is giving all her love and advices to you. Just for making you happy and trying to help you find happiness in life. 🙂
About the editor: Krystyna is the author of three dating ebooks, including ‘Krystyna’s lessons on successful dating Ukrainian ladies’ & ‘International Dating Digest For Men: Finding Love Overseas’. As the leading International Dating Expert and Dating Coach Krystyna is a consultant for many dating sites and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, online dating and matchmaking.
Need dating coaching? Check here: www.krioda.com
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