The term “mail order bride” comes with a lot of misconceptions. Many assume it means a woman looking for a financial escape, willing to trade love for security. Others believe it’s about men seeking submissive, exotic wives. But the reality is often far from these stereotypes.
In this post, I share my personal journey—one that started in Ukraine, took an unexpected turn in the U.S., and eventually led me to find real love through an international dating agency. I didn’t sign up to be “bought and paid for”—I wanted a true partnership, not just an exchange of money and security for companionship.
If you’ve ever wondered what really goes on behind the scenes of international dating, or if you’re considering finding love abroad yourself, my story might challenge your assumptions and offer valuable insights. Keep reading to discover the truth behind the “mail order bride” label—and how love can be found in the most unexpected ways.
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Most people think that a “mail order bride” is a desperate, foreign woman looking for an American ‘Sugar Daddy’ who will pay her financial way out of dire circumstances in exchange for a wild, crazy, subservient slave in the bedroom. I may be the exception to that rule but I hope that my experience is an inspiration to other women who grew up in a similar situation to mine.
Girls, don't stop dreaming about your Prince!
I was born to an average family in the Ukraine where the prospects of a woman becoming financially independent are slim and none. Even with a college education there are no real opportunities for a woman to better herself.
I got a taste of America during my junior year of college when I received a cultural exchange scholarship to attend a college in upstate New York. I loved the United States because there was so much opportunity for anyone willing to work toward being independent.
Unfortunately, my Visa was not renewed and I returned to the Ukraine but I desperately wanted to return to the country where I knew I could become anything I wanted to become.
A mail order bride is not a slave!
The decision to register with an agency as a mail order bride was not one I made easily, but it seemed to be the only way to come back to the country that I now proudly call home. And, yes, the first eligible husbands were very disappointing.
Their profiles made it clear that they were looking for uninhibited sex and a form of subservience somewhat similar to slavery. This was not what I wanted and, in truth, more than a little disgusting.
There was one profile that seemed different than all the others. He stood out because he said that he was looking for a wife. A loving companion willing to share everything in a relationship. Someone who could and would hold an intelligent conversation, offer insights and opinions, discuss current events and share life.
It wasn’t all flowery words, but a sincere offer of a traditional marriage. When I first e-mailed him his initial response was to tell me that he was ‘a few years’ older than I was. This was refreshing and honest.
My dream comes true
When we finally met face to face we both felt an attraction that soon became love. I may have been a mail order bride but neither one of us feel that I was ever bought and paid for.
Last Updated & Reviewed: March 13, 2025
