What to Do If You Were Scammed in Foreign Online Dating?

Dear Krystyna,

It’s amazing that you offer this kind service!

I have very negative experience with a girl on a dating site. I corresponded with a girl for more than 3 years. When I first visited her after writing 6 months, just one day before I arrived her city, the agency said that he was in a hospital because of appendix surgery! So I couldn’t meet her.

I visited her last winter again, but this time without notice in advance. I could meet her. But she acted very strange and quite cold. Considering such long time of correspondence of more than 3 years, her attitude was too cold. I stayed at her city for 10 days, but she gave me only 4 times of dating, altogether just 8 hours.

I was so disappointed, so I wrote a sad and quite harsh letter. Then she said we did not fit to each other and she said good bye.

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Ukrainian Dating Scam - I tried my best

After that I tried to recover our relationship by all means but every attempt proved to be in vain. Then this summer I happened to find her VK blog.

I researched her blog for more than 2 months, and recently I found she had a secret boyfriend in her city. I am so sad that she kissed him and has been dating with him while she and I were in a great relationship for the last 3 years. And yet her profile is still on the agency, luring other new men!

Love scam Ukraine

I think I need to take some measures to stop her fooling foreign men like me who try to find true love with sincere hearts. I already got all the photos and messages and letters as the evidence for her cheating and lying.

Discovering lies

I realized recently that she lied many times, namely:

I now know her full name, her real birthday and birth year, her address, her university, her hometown. I think I can find where her secret boyfriend works. I think she is not a scammer but a cheater and liar. I want to damage her and the site in any way possible. And I have a friend who is an advocate working in Kiev.

And I want to sue her and the site. Is there possibility to win if I sue against a dating site for the reason that they didn’t do their best in selecting their lady members? Maybe punitive damages?

Or just raising a law suit against her, I want to make her bankrupt as she made me spend more than $4000 until now.

Can I hear your advice?


Krystyna comments: What to do if you get scammed online dating?


Dear Steve,

I am really very sorry about your negative experience with Russian/Ukrainian online dating scam. Unfortunately, I have to mention that many Western men looking for companionship with Russian & Ukrainian women for marriage find themselves the victims of Russian/Ukrainian online dating scammers. 

If you have the unfortunate experience of being scammed by a Russian/Ukrainian dating scammer, you can do several things.

1) Reporting the scammer to the appropriate agencies and adding their names to one of the scam lists

First, do not feel that you are alone. A very high percentage of Western men looking for a Russian woman online become the victims of Russian/Ukrainian online dating scammers. Some estimates of the percentage of Western men being scammed are as high as 99%.

99% of correspondence from Russian women men receive through Internet dating sites is actually from scammers – fake identities created by computer criminals with the pure goal of extracting money from gullible victims. The prevalent scheme is to request money for airplane tickets to be sent by Western Union to a receiver in Russia. The profile on the site may say the person is in the United States, Australia, or another country, but in their email they say they are from Russia. This is the first warning sign you are contacted by a fake
elena petrova
Elena Petrova
Russian Dating Expert

So, Steve, if you have sent money to this person, it is goneThere is very little to no chance of getting it back. From my experience, your money is gone and there is nothing you can do. Maybe your friend, a lawyer who lives in Ukraine, can help you and report the woman’s scam actions to the local police.

2) Reporting this woman as a fake to your dating agency

You can lodge a formal complaint with the agency, and against the agency if you feel they were complicit in the scam.

You can then take what real information you have about this woman, or man, and post it as a real profile on social networks as a warning to others. You can inform the administration of the site about the person you feel cheated and scammed you. 

You can ask them to check the persons personality information and verify the IP address they used.

2) Sharing your story online

Then if you want to do even more, you can make sure the woman or man you are talking to is really a dating scammer. If you feel they are really guilty, you can add them to all the numerous Russian/Ukrainian dating scam lists.

It is a good idea to share your story and experiences with other users of online dating sites. You may not be able to get your money back, but you can save someone else from being scammed.

You want to learn how to find a great foreign woman and experience exciting International dating adventure, but you have no clue of where to start. Not to worry, we are here to help! ☝️ Ask Krystyna
Krystyna Dating Blogger
About the editor: Krystyna is the author of three dating ebooks, including  ‘International Dating Digest For Men: Finding Love Overseas’.
As the leading dating blogger Krystyna is a consultant for many dating services and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching and romance scam.
With decades of experience, Krystyna is the authority on the international dating scene, and it’s her passion to help people sustain relationships that bridge cultures and countries.

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5 thoughts on “What to Do If You Were Scammed in Foreign Online Dating?”


    Do not hire PI-detective. PI profession is unrecognized within Ukrainian justice system. PI’s don’t want to meet client in person or on video camera (just chat on Skype). PI’s want to be paid only via Western Union and not via an official bank where they could be traced. Yes, PI’s can help to identify and locate scammer.

    But, then what? What to do with furnished information? One cannot take the lady’s address (provided by PI) and show-up at her door without a formal police complaint. Most likely you would be beaten by her gang members and accomplices. Cost of hiring a PI is 500USD to be paid in advance.

    If you must hire legal help then hire an attorney. Most likely cost would be 1000USD + X% of money recovered from her. My attorney has signed a contract stating he would be paid ONLY after case is resolved (no retainer and no advance deposit is required).

    Attorney has provided photocopies of his passport and his ID REGISTRATION (after showing me his original docs). 6-months process.

    Wish me luck.

  2. I have experienced scam at paid websites. Now, I am much wiser. I have made a policy. I don’t believe in fake Photoshop photos. Hence, Skype is 100% requirement for Internet-based dating. Guys don’t worry. Skype can translate written text automatically in case lady is unable to speak English (Skype translation is a big help during preliminary introductory phase of knowing her). Additionally, I don’t mind emailing photocopy of my passport. And, in return, I require photocopy of lady’s passport. I am happy to report that I had found many well educated ladies on free websites (for example: Fdating.com).

    I have contacted about 190 ladies over 90 days without paying any fee, whatsoever. I have also received photocopy of passport from all ladies with whom I have shared photocopy of my passport. In two cases, I have even received photocopy of academic diploma and transcript from ladies. In general, Russian / Ukrainian degrees are not accepted in Western countries. Why to bring a foreign lady lacking academic skills to complete a degree program. It is best to get lady’s diploma evaluated by western universities.

    Moreover, it is not inappropriate to request CV from ladies. CV would tell employment history, past employers and complete mailing address. I wish I was this wiser before experiencing Internet scam.

  3. Hi,

    I met this woman earlier this year on a dating site and dated her four four months. All she wants is your money. She wants expensive gifts and says she needs money for hospital. When I wouldn’t pay her hospital bills she didn’t contact me again.
    She is on the Ukrainedate.com website.

    [email protected]
    Vera Khokhlova

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