I am 30 years old and got married to a German man. And of course, I moved to Germany. We met through an online dating site and had communicated for two years before we decided to get married. My German husband is 32 years old and has no job. He said that in Berlin it is very difficult to find a good job. My husband has a diploma in religious studies. He stays at home mostly.
New country - large perspectives!
The period of my adaptation in the new country was very difficult although I have previously visited many other countries and even worked there. I thought that my moving to Germany would be something special and I could enjoy the German architecture, traditions and culture. I dreamed walking and going to churches and concerts. But of course, I was looking for an idyllic family life with my German partner…
So, it is the third month of my stay in Berlin, and I’m going crazy. My husband is absolutely helpless in everyday life. Besides according to his doctor, he has phobias and panic attacks and must take tons of medication.
I'm a wife, not a cook and cleaner!
We rarely go out, basically I have to support him, cook and clean our house. Moreover, I have to work very much every day although I still have difficulties with the German language. My husband mostly stays at home reading scientific papers. Sometimes he goes to the supermarket to buy food. I began to work immediately after my moving to Germany cause of the lack of money. I feel an inner sadness in my soul and heart and just cry often at night. I try to hold on, however.
I do not know what I have to do, namely: to stay with my husband or go back to Russia, to my old life there? I am not happy…